I don’t want to die, there’s so much in life I want to enjoy. On this episode we’re ramming a car into a mountain, leisurely ignoring imminent missile attacks, shaking down Caraway, bullshitting our way into a base, tricking idiot soldiers, killing those same soldiers off screen, mashing buttons to push things, hacking a computer,…

What’s on your mind, old man? Maybe it’s loafing amid a crisis, fighting faculty members, doubting the dawn of time, refusing to swear an allegiance, having a meltdown, suffering hot dog denial, falling for a hologram, taking a knee, arguing missile survival tactics, exploring a dank oil stratum, refusing to trust friends with basic tasks,…

I sent my students to kill my wife. And yet, we’re eliminating symbiotic organisms, transforming our school into our car, admiring the balcony vista, setting out to open sea, thinking too much, half-assing a tour of our school, experiencing retrograde amnesia, making a boyfriend promise, losing our temper, delivering our report to NORG, revealing a…

Hi, I’m done crying. Today we’re learning about a sea monster, listening to Selphie’s thoughts, hearing the reality of Garden’s origin, exploring the paradox of Edea’s SeeDs, using Ellone to bridge time, toiling in bed, ramming our military academy into a hippie commune, meeting a master fisherman, lying to tourists, playing Triple Triad for keeps,…

If you can drink every day, you must be in good health. This time we’re visiting a sullen expatriate, apologizing to a pissy mayor, accepting we’re beacons of violence, deducing cigarette etymology, watching diplomacy fail, calling for the Iron Clad, reuniting with our friends, feeling a feeling, stating the need for battles, resorting to both…

We must heal the trauma of war with music. On this one fourth of one hundred episode we’re planning a show, arranging a score, selecting instruments, becoming the cowboy, watching Squall sleep, wearing our Sunday best, trapping our dick, absolutely fucking up the composition, sitting near porn, taking a swing at a date, saying anything…

Let’s play for fun, from now on. This time we’re becoming Commander, taking down Card Club cardsters, meeting the true CC King, piloting army school across the world map, surviving twenty minutes, observing an octahedral frame, appreciating lost art, drawing pain, placing eyes in concrete, putting numbers in magic fire, challenging a norse god, and…

Specialist is surprised they let you in. Tonight we’re going to an isolationist village, paying five G’s for Ultima, going 323 meters underground just for fun, listening to diegetic Julia, reading at a bad time, finding a god damn Laguna statue, falling off another cliff, becoming what’s in our hearts, working to earn anything, showing…

You were just as attractive when you used to beat me up. On this instant anti-classic we’re witnessing a cow abduction, mistaking chicabos for ghosts, speaking with a cat, locating table flowers, getting trucked by a chocobo, judging drop-outs, repairing dangerous roads, exchanging a vase for a rock, re-losing Georgie, saving a child from a…