Nobody ordered me to escape. Through the wineglass, we’re using our girlfriend as our therapist, cashing out our cards, receiving a ghost punch, breeding monsters on the moon, crying those monsters onto the planet, putting on a space suit, meeting a…

I’m not your mom. In truth, I’m denying romantic impulses, killing and re-killing aliens, scanning my girlfriend, using a radio for the first time, resisting any attempt at creating intimacy, accepting a sorceress’ fate, descending from Hyne,…

We understand each other’s thoughts and hearts. While ignoring Rinoa’s imminent peril, we’re wasting a day with Triple Triad, failing to move the Queen of Cards, sailing past 100 hours, playing Red Light Green Light, picking the hidden option,…

The world’s over, man. While continuing to neglect our witch girlfriend, we’re throwing rocks in a lake, humming to summon a shadow, receiving awful clues, stealing a crop circle, getting Piet fired, scouring the world for unique NPC dialogue,…

Man, you look way too serious. As the world ends, we’re reaching max level, reading Selphie’s Laguna webpage, breaking down the couch cars, meeting the President, being called a faerie, performing calisthenics at critical plot points, staying on a…

I have a lot to tell you, unless you don’t want to hear it. In which case I’ll understand. After we put a bullet in the head of Triple Triad, we’re identifying the father of the son, ramming Lunatic Pandora, parking our dragon at the base,…

Face my wrath for seeking thy sealed power. As we kompress time, we’re multiplying save points and sorceresses, stepping over dead SeeDs on the beach, fastening wings to a castle, sealing our powers away, evaporating a rainbow, deducing latin…

The only Squall permitted here is you. As we sort through computer generated cut scenes, we’re trying to remember the power of friendship, completing the time loop, accepting sorceress power, talking to myself, wandering through the desert,…