The system is awakening. Today we’re getting lore from a Jesus cross, contacting the fourth dimension, tapping into the god universe, adventing into this world, instilling a mother’s will, nursing an Oedipus complex, dealing with a paradox, playing the Undertaker’s Theme, fighting dad as well as my transmigrated ancestor, giving birth to humanity, destroying our…

We can actually play this game now. While we’re surviving the apocalypse, we’re also merging flags, buying scam birds, burning books, digging up a jukebox, alienating our dolphin stepson, going down with the ship, fantasizing about The Captain, becoming a landlubber, accepting forgiveness, not adding Ramsus to our party, confirming reality with Zephyr, forging exactly…

We’ll catch you in the static between sounds, right before we kill god. Today we’re investing in Golden Vests, declining Franz’ hot sounds, rejecting Margie’s advances, locating Chu-Chu, getting bad info from a wiki, comparing hot sauce, beating up Sluggers for no reason, battle rapping dune men, extracting a sword from bones, playing human plinko,…

Have you ever taken a side quest to another episode of a game that will never exist? Today we’re not appearing on the world map, recreating 90’s cityscapes, fighting walking dragons, marveling at asphalt, manipulating Zeboim culture, using war as a solution to infertility, reading insane lore magazines, winning NBA grand slams, buying Joe-brand parts,…

I have been playing Xenogears for eight months. In the penultimate episode of season one, we’re conducting inadequate preparation, incompleting a map, beating up angels, falling through laser tunnels, flipping tedious dungeon switches, observing basement bass, fighting fighting orbs, sealing divine abilities, time travelling to 1999, intershifting dimensionality, breaking our Gears, destroying fate, and killing…

The wretched will makes us experience sadness and loss. For the final episode of season one, we’re meeting our real imaginary savior in space, speaking to ghostface killa, rationalizing villainous activity, getting high off god fumes, spilling soup, accepting fate, rejecting fate, seeking connections, determining the power of love through battle, forgiving genocide, favoring humanity…

Let us begin a fantastical exegesis of Chrono Cross. To kick off our second season, we’re talking about who made Chrono Cross, discussing accent tools, denying community, marveling at efficiency, reciting poetry, devouring the intro CG movie, calling songs different names, invading a stone fortress, and foreshadowing doom. We hope you enjoy this radical dream!…

Come on sleepyhead, get up. On this episode, we’re deleting music from the game, standing up to Leena through extended slumber, talking to everybody in Arni Village, learning super duper lizard secrets, reminiscing a life of gutting fish, unlocking Satellaview secrets, reciting more poetry, appreciating Poshul’s lisp, learning how to fight, reading mega-babe posters, and…

What are you doing here, man, this is my island. On this episode we’re learning lessons from choices unmade, dancing the tokage, dressing the battle set, observing weird weapons, remembering Nu, acquiring Komodo Dragon scales, killing the dragon mother, getting sentimental with Leena, waking up at the beach, admiring the beautiful face of the Opah…